Much of my time is spent reading, stories of faith, stories of life, stories of struggles (and let me add, reading is something I encourage everyone to do often). Words have shaped my life, influenced my thinking and aided me in painting pictures of my thoughts. I want the words I share here to encourage your thinking too.
Originally, I had hoped to have something grand and glorious to say, but I don't. In many ways, it is a lot like my life. It's not at all what I expected, but I am liking where it is. I had always thought that by the time I was 5___ something years old that I would have a well established career, a lasting effect on people's lives, or at least have my act together. Instead, I mostly have questions, lots of doubts, and blisters on my feet from a journey on uneven terrain. I thought becoming older meant that I had answers, instead I have learned it means I know how to articulate my questions better. I thought that it meant that I was well on the way to my destination, instead I am often lost in the woods.
But in the woods I am, and the nice thing about being here is you discover a new vista around every curve, and I am learning to take the time to dangle my toes in the streams and reflect.
I was doing that today. Thinking, about this journey, and it struck me that I am actually glad that life isn't turning out the way I had planned. It is so much more exciting this way. Even my thoughts about God are changing. I shudder when I think about sermons that I preached 25 years ago. The words might have been true, but the arrogance behind them was appalling. If I have learned anything it is that we all take our own paths. And mine, mine zig-zags all over the place. What I know today, I question tomorrow. Almost everything, I question tomorrow.
I am into my second half century, and there is only one thing that I am sure of now. I am not on this journey alone. I have you, and I have my understanding of God. And for tonight that's all I need.
This afternoon an old hymn lodged itself in my spirit. I think it has always been among my favorites. It is what inspired these thoughts(for whatever they are worth). Written by Robert Robinson, it is the third verse that gets me.
O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let they goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.
Tune my heart to hope and healing, to grace and gratitude. And help me, help us, find our way home. Please.
Let they goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above.
Tune my heart to hope and healing, to grace and gratitude. And help me, help us, find our way home. Please.
.
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